This blog is about computer software (and other things that come to mind to keep it interesting) --- my fascination with it as something with an almost "divine" potential, almost in the same way I see music. Also, it's a glimpse into something that is probably foreign to you and that you wouldn't know about otherwise. Somewhere in the dark corners where I hide. You see I am the last philosopher. And the only reason why I allow this at all is because I made a kind of mistake in my life and also realized kabbalah (which made clear to me that whatever I'm doing in this life, however solemn, is relatively unimportant), so interesting turn of events since I deviated from my path to the stars and ended up here. I'm shamelessly promoting myself until I'm capable of an old seriousness and can look back on this to see what it meant. (also to try blogging and experimenting with socializing a bit to see what I'd not have any other way or reason to find out about)

Tuesday, October 18, 2011


So I did nothing today; absolutely nothing, except go through portal 2 with the cheat on. 

I realized today that nothing short of the spiritual can really change my life.  The spiritual is the great focus that everything else we can see falls short of, that thing we tend to overlook because it's IMPRACTICAL!  It's idealistic and says little about our lives.  But it's for that reason also that people see life as an overwhelming chaos and look for backdoor answers like blind faith and the scientific method, taking sides to avoid accountability as individuals, unable to deal with life directly.  And it's this helplessness (what is judged as external will never be brought under control) that in turn complicates and overwhelms.  It's futile and always reverts back to chaos, and suffering, so it very much in the end, when you've gone through it enough, relates to our lives.

Except it's just as difficult. 

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